For a Good Book, It's Kinda Bleak In Parts

      Hi guys,

      You know Hosea’s gonna be bad when chapter one, verse two features the instruction “go marry a whore.”

      I’ve been reading the prophets for Lent. The Bible quiz said I should dive in to the Good Book... Okay, the older part of the Good Book... Alright the bit better known as The Good, Bad, and Ugly book, emphasis on the ugly.

      So far out of Isaiah, Jeremiah, and Ezekiel, it’s lots of the sword, famine, and plague, idolatry likened to adultery (and vivid promiscuity for epic Egyptian dong in Ezzo).

      Such a colourful bunch, and quite a preachy bunch. Issy went naked for three years. Jezza prophesied for twenty odd years, after which he was kidnapped and dragged to Egypt. Nice holiday? Nope, Egypt copped a spray of incoming wrath. Mic, dropped.

      Ezekiel? Tied himself up on his right side for a couple of months, left a couple, eating food cooked over poo. Um, yummo? Oh, and the best bit? Told by God he won’t be listened to. Still went dope on the mic, still dropped it.

      Welcome to my faith. No, I’m not going to convert you, but I’ll save you the read of said prophets, though: “Stop that infernal pagan stuff, we’re gonna get wiped big time, but it’s gonna be sweet after, you’ll see!”

      So, how did I get here? I was pretty much a science, logic, “smarter than holier thou,” atheist whose first hope at fame is a fantasy where the pagans fight off Christian invaders. Well, except for the voice behind my ear that saved my life at 18, a voice I just knew I could trust.

      Yes, I had an experience that I couldn’t explain. Then four years ago, I had one you’d probably (correctly) put down to going off my meds and not sleeping for three days. Long story short, I wound up strapped down, sedated, and held overnight in hospital. And a day later, I rocked up to church.

      I’ll keep it as a story for another time, but as it so happens, that latest book of mine which explores the part of me I would put on hold in a relationship, became exploration put on hold for my chosen religion.

      Prophetic? Umm, maybe? I don’t know, things can work out in ways you wouldn’t expect, or might not find out unless you find God mathematically by answering that age-old conundrum, dividing by zero. Let’s just say that and a branch of metaphysics blew my mind... And could potentially blow yours, or someone else’s.

      I’ll save that formula, lesson, and story for another time. The only Lentmassy thing I’ll ask of you is, if you can, go give $10 to a charity; or, if you do need the help, don’t be afraid to approach one.

      Hopefully peace unto you all, and have a good one!

      T.M.

Lentmas, Mando, The GF, A New Game, And Not Writing

       Hi guys,

      Yep, ‘tis the season o’ Lent, number three for me, so back to the Vegan diet, no social media except on Sundays, and nose to the Bible this time. (My Lent quiz told me this was the way, well, one of them). Also up, exercise, more adoration, and try a Divine Mercy.

      Speaking of “This is the way,” I’ve finally sat down to The Mandalorian. CARL WEATHERS IS IN STAR WARS, BOOYAH! Yes, it’s cooler than Dillon becoming a leftie in Predator. And, alas, inadvertently introduced the GF to “I have spoken.” And after all the times I’ve teased her, she now has the power of I Have Spoken. And you know what? I’m glad, it can’t all be one sided :D.

      Also Baby Not Yoda is soooooooooooo cute. He turned up on my Valentine’s Day card from the GF. A box of Earl Grey made it into my pressie – Captain Picard’s personal fave (it was her brother’s suggestion, he loves his Trek). But cutest of all, little pills with little messages she wrote, rolled up tight, put in, and put the things back together. Soooooooooooo cute!!

      But let me stop here, because there are a lot of lonely people in the world, and not just for Valentine’s Day. Even I’ve been felt alone. Yeah, I’m in a relationship, and one night doing examen, I realised I felt alone. I know it comes from a lot of things growing up and living life, but it hit hard for a moment. So, here’s to the lonely, have a consideration for them, because not everybody has the chances many of us enjoy.

      Speaking of things not enjoyed, I handed Cyberpunk back. Yes, no second playthrough. Well, I did three of the four endings, and there was only one quest left to finish differently – not even a main quest. And, well, even with Keanu, I was disappointed. Hate to say it, it just ticked sci-fi boxes, did nothing new, and turned out to be one big second act with a let-down cliffhang.

      But it did something else, courtesy of the first person viewpoint. It messed with me. It was hard to differentiate the game happening to V from the game happening to me, and my anxiety, my depression, played up. Hell, I was on Halo the other night, finally up to the Flood, and the things jumping at me started to freak me out. A game I’ve already played with no ill effects. The wha?...

      I guess this is something I need to look out for in future, not just for the meh-delivered storyline. To think a game could push my brain into discomfort. I haven’t had this since Vertical Limit freaked me out. I guess what I want to say now is, here’s to the anxious, have a consideration, because not everybody is “normal.”

      As to the gaming front, hello Yakuza: Like A Dragon. Serious Yakuza drama, layered underworld grittiness, skewed logic, care and concern… which turned into Pokemon twice over, introduced me to rem Ram goat-headed guys in business suits. Yes, this game has underlying hilarity, firstly as a JRPG, but I’m hanging out for Dragon Kart! And most importantly, in third person. Ahh, escapism.

      Stories, stories, stories, I’m living them for worse or better. And neglecting my own. Um, well… Yeah. Disappointed just about covers it for me, letting gaming get in my way, not sitting myself down to the laptop, and when I did, flesh out another idea. Yeah, okay, that’s the writer’s curse, but the GF is pestering for a chapter of The Ways Out, and I’ve got little to show for it.

      Granted, the new idea comes out of Cyberpunk (it was good for something, and not just Stan!)… Then turned into a newer variant which I hope the themes will still come through. Or will just be another Mandalorian. Welp, ‘tis the writer’s life for me. And good old Lent, where I’m going to pick some things up, perhaps a good time to get back into things, and see about that chapter of TWO I’m half-way through.

      I guess that’s it. Feelings going forward are a bit mixed, but feelings coming into now seem worse in perspective. A good thing? I hope so. And I hope (okay, aim) to keep on my Lenten pick up’s and let go’s. Updates to follow on a Sunday I let myself get on ye olde Tweeter.

Until next time, have a good one!

T. M.

No, I Don't Have A Cyberpunk Problem...

      Hi guys,

      Happy 2021, what a year already! (And that’s if you discount last Wednesday)

      And um, yeah, that was, well I gotta say, a long time coming. He has form, it was all there in the Birther days, and those people had been courted by the mainstream. What happens next is, um, yeah, let’s just say I don’t think it’s over, and the calls to “heal and move on” are coming from those who need to examine themselves and clean up their act.

      But enough about Politics Gone Wild, I’ve been doing, well, not much writing. Or any. The Friday 15^th I’m writing this on is the first time I’ve turned my laptop on all year. (Egads!) I know, I know, bad author not authoring, but I tell you solemnly I don’t have a Cyberpunk 2077 problem… or a problem making horrible fashion choices in Cyberpunk 2077… or a problem loving having a certain famous person as a character stuck in my head.

      Okay, I do. Fine, I’ve been (mostly) loving the game, now that the story has developed I can really appreciate the Sci-Fi, though having that story shovelled down my throat every time I finish a quest – even down my throat TWICE in the middle of a drive around town side quest – is grating on my nerves. And the fact it’s a bit of a Bethesda game with all its bugs, the least it could let me do is un-tag the main quest like Oblivion, Skyrim, Fallout.

      Too much to ask? Evidently so is getting a game devs to PLAY TEST THEIR GAMES! Ugh, the gamer life. At least it’s only crashed on me six times, and I’ve been good, quick-saving like crazy. But… It is time I stepped back from it, feeling so personal in first person view, filling my head in the middle of recovery meetings, when I’m trying to get to sleep, etc. And the writing is suffering.

      To think, I last touched The Ways Out sometime before December. And it had been a hard slog, only a page or two at a time trying to get a chapter done. Maybe the very few sales I made are slowing me down. Maybe it was the meds not lifting my mood (changed them, and after a shitty few weeks, this week has seen a boost). Probably both.

      Monday is the day to start cracking, and brave the Golden Crowned Lurgy still gadding about the country (low here, my thoughts to other nations copping it worse than us). I think it put me off getting cracking, ¡Hola Cyberpunk! (Jackie rules, btw, awesome character!). I’ll just see how I go, not heap expectations on my shoulders.

      As for The Ways In, someone else read it (or some someones a few pages here and there), but yep, nothing sold, will have to splurge on ads and hopefully a virtual book tour. And to join that random no comment 5-star review on Amazon, I have another 5-star on Goodreads, replete with comment, and, all trepidation aside, here’s the review on Goodreads.

      But that said, it’s from the GF. Yes, I linked to that. Go on, call it biased, decry it if you will. The GF just happens to be an avid reader who lives and breathes books. But as an intro to me, the book having that autobiographical main character and all, it was perfect to share (and that was before she got the copy on Kindle). And as it turns out, the story proved interesting and entertaining.

      Yep, I can smell the flack in the air. “Don’t trust a family/friend review!” “You can’t use that as a review!” “5-star reviews on self-pubbed books are BS!” “Blah, Snyder cut Batfleck, ruagh!” Whatever floats your boat. But… To hell with that, judge if you wish, that’s up to you. Tick it unhelpful, be my guest.

      But in my view an avid reader is an avid reader, and if a 1-star, DNF review from a stranger holds more value than a 5-star finished review from the reader GF, then fie on the world and its negativity.

      Okay, I’m done. I’ll get off the soap box. But yes, it’s good to blog again, as it was to get back to recovery after Xmas, as it was to reclaim some time to myself I whored out to a video game (helped with the getting to sleep last two nights). And hope to be back in three weeks. Or whenevs. See what happens.

So I Missed Another Blog Date

       Welp, I’m late again. I do that. It’s one of my things… Okay, was with the GF and let this lapse. #GoodLife

      And the results are in, and The Ways In moved a total of (drumroll)… 99 copies.

      Wait, what? Not even a hundred? When I hoped for at least 300? Insert King George III from Hamilton gif here (you know which one). And what has this netted me review wise? One 5-star rating. Better than nothing, but, well, cue disappointed author face, and insert that gif again.

      Oh, yes, evidence:

      And, um, well… yeah. High hopes dashed. The perks of being independent and self-published with minimal advertising spend. Also, nails bit on dwindling hope of something I can use to boost sales of book next time I give it away. The perks of potential reader going, “Five stars? For what?” Also, worthless feelings. The perks of anxiety, the low side of my bipolar.

      How much of my book has been read? I don’t know. The reports only show 690 pages read on Kindle Unlimited and whatever KOLL is. That could be a total of two readers out of 99 for all I know. The perks of free books going straight into the To Be Read pile. When? Maybe until those people learn that Dante’s hell is frozen over. #Shrug.

      I really don’t know how I feel about it. Empty? Definitely hollow. There’s a lot of me in that thing, and readership means the world to me. Hateful? I hope not. Okay, I’m dismayed by the poor showing, and I’m certainly taking the shine off the 5-star rating and whoever was kind enough to give it to me. Sour grapes? Yeah, I’ll take it.

      Oh well, here’s to another three months in the wilderness, and I’ll go free again, this time with a virtual book tour so I have more exposure, and see if that cast net, well, nets any fish. Yep, this isn’t the end. Hope lives on, and maybe I’ll have nails with a handful of reviews to put at the front to get more readers the third time I go free.

      That coaxes me out of the doldrums. And that’s really all I have to say today. All the best, and have a good one!

      T. M.

The Bolted Ram and Shovel

THREE WAYS - THE WAYS IN

Available in Paperback or on Kindle, get your copy today!

Australia/NZ/US     Ireland/United Kingdom      Canada

      Hi guys,

      Welcome to The Bolted Ram and Shovel!

      No, I haven’t opened a craft beer bar (aww) but if you’ll go for a copy of Three Ways – The Ways In, you’ll get to go there, a place with a main bar, upstairs restaurant, downstairs club with a 90’s dance night twice a month, and some craft beers (including some by the proprietor).

      Okay, so Cole and Jane will go there (yay them). Halm Dresden, too (well, the one in Caral-Hilde when I put The Fear, The Sundering, The Journey out there). You might be thinking, “Why am I being invited?” Well, author here, I do need readers. As for how to get them…

      Well I could just hope people find their way to my Sample My Work [link] page and click on the links there. Or I could just put TWI on KDP Select, make it free for five days, and advertise it using a cover pic and the ultimate get a free copy on a Facebook ad and see how far up the Kindle charts I can get.

      That’s it, that’s the big announcement, The Ways In will be FREE this coming weekend!! And I’ll be keeping tabs on copies sold, and the Amazon rankings to see how far up I can go, and gloat over the results next post… Fine, I’ll be humble, but I’ll still be cheering if I can break the 500 copies moved, and stoked if I can get some reviews (even crap ones).

      “But, hey, isn’t it your birthday this week?” Um, well, yes, it is. And yes, you can say I’m giving the presents. And presence. Ahh, the joys of advertising to generate interest.

      And, well, there you have it. And if you happen to have a million friends… a boy can dream of going to number one, yeah? Really, I’ll be happy with 301 copies moved, because then I can officially put this picture up:

      Nothing further to add, I’m really excited over doing this while I’m still on the low budget days, the future may bring the complete edition with better cover art. We’ll see.

      Bye for now, and have a good one!

      T. M.