Hi all, and Happy May.
And not surprising, the writing is taking some time, but I think I know what the problem is. Oh and then there's the fact I'm finding writing the middle section challenging on personal grounds I unfortunately can't tell you without giving away the plot. But I have put the first chapter up as a sample, so kindly enjoy!
Life has at least settled, I'm in a new place where the rent is cheaper which is a nice bonus, and work and the weather both continue well. I have been sidetracked with a bit too much gaming (I heart Skyrim all these years later, and still heart running around with vampire hottie Serana, and shouting people off cliffs, and getting my stealth archery skills down pat - not bad for a Redguard in heavy armour lol). And a few other things.
Point in practice having depression and anxiety, even thinking about watching shows like 13 Reasons Why and satisfying curiosity by reading the plot on Wikipedia can be a pretty tough affair. Being a writer I also have my creative issues but those aside, and initial dismissal put to rest, yeah, nah, I won't be putting myself through it and leave me in a tearful, pained mass on the floor. But gotta hand it to the author and to Netflix, I've ended up thinking a fair bit about the issue of suicide.
It is something that's touched my life. Personally, I have held a knife at my wrist, and if not for that voice telling me not to waste myself, I could be a statistic. Someone I know committed suicide, that last ditched act of desperation robbing this world of someone with a most mischievous smile. Another person I knew through going through mental health services also died in circumstances that could also have been suicide, it wasn't 100% clear at the time.
There is a point to all of what I'm saying, and its not just something 13 Reasons brings up. See, the girl I knew who committed suicide, it was mentioned briefly that she, like I, had gone through sexual assault. At the funeral, the pastor said that this wasn't something that needed to be discussed. Likely this was meant to consider what positive memory we had of Skye, but I always felt that this was sweeping a very important issue under the rug.
There are a lot of agencies dedicated to discussion of the issue of suicide. Dedicated to reducing "stigma" (I hate the very mention of the unhelpful word, and the unhelpful process of "reducing stigma"). Indeed, they want to reduce the suicide statistics, and some of them have taken issue to 13 Reasons Why - they have their reasons, so be it. But I feel that we're just talking about the end result of suicide, not the things that lead up to it.
What's the point in a title? That there's more than one reason a person might seek to end their life. But what can it imply? That we can not only make changes in our world that, someone falling towards the edges can seek help and be directed towards it (looking at you, poorly plotted character - I'll leave you all to guess which one), but we can make changes in our world that lead us to, as Jerry Springer said best, "be good to yourselves, and each other."
Because, let's face it, while there are actions we may wish we'd never taken ourselves that can lead us into dreadful thinking of dire outcomes, there are actions we may take unto others that can lead them into that very same place. If we're going to talk about suicide, then we'd better talk about being nice to each other, acting in ways for each other's betterment and not cut-throated, juvenile, puerile cold-heartedness that leads to calls of bleeding hearts when someone says we should be nice to each other.
We need to go further than if you're thinking of harming yourself, it's okay, you can reach out. We need to get solid on if you've been harmed, badmouthed, bullied, sexually assaulted, neglected, not listened to by an adult, witnessed trauma, anything... yes, you can reach out, and yes, there are people who will listen to you and gladly help you get help. In fact I implore you to, because there are plenty of avenues away from that dreadful edge, and even if you have to travel those avenues for the rest of your life, believe me, the world and the people in it are much better for you being here.
Because yes, we will miss you if you weren't here. And those who say they won't or urge you to cross over the edge (a frightful online occurrence that has been reported on) are evil scumbuckets who deserve to be ignored.
Sorry to get all deep and meaningful, but it's been floating around in my head for a couple of weeks now, and having my conditions makes it something I'm passionate about. And with that, I'm going to try and get back to my writing.
Take it easy, all, and lets celebrate being nice to one another. Humans achieve a lot when they group together in the face of adversity.