Because Bipolar Spending on Author Drug (Caffeine) and Other Stuff

   Hi guys,

   Yep, long time, no blog. Book, you see. And speaking of that, I'm at a sunken moment money wise. Its fixable, but it means I can't do what I want with The Ways In - get an editor.

   The joys of Bipolar 1 where the manic side is of prominence. Hello laissez faire attitude to life. Sure it lets small things be wonderful, but has its down sides. Greetings blase spending. Definitely a downside.

   And its been on sweet, nourishing coffee at work. Two a day, 5 days a week. Sure it's $38 a week, but... And on making salads for dinner, with all the veg, and cheap meats, but big eating it... And putting too much on ye olde credite carde, to be paid off... When I have important healing expenses coming up, car service to fit in - and a personal holiday I know I'm worth and allowed.

   Long story short, not good with the $$s this week courtesy of the past months. Thanks to recovery I know right now its another of those habits of mine. Too bad I pick it now not earlier, but thems the breaks. And as I realised today, I can't afford an editor for my book. S. H. I. T.

   I don't know how I feel about it. It will mean I'm purely independent this time around. And thanks to using Narrator to go through 3W, I'm picking up lost words, which is good. Though it will mean a final listen to without suggestions from an independent set of eyes... which I really, really want.

   But what do I do? Put my book on hold while I save up money? There's a reason why I want/need to get it out there, granted at its best not as a mess. Tough decision, but I'm just going to have to be confident about it... and pull myself back into line money wise.

   Bipolar is a strange thing. Particularly the higher side, not fun when it helps make you prone to buzz feeding, and feeds the addictive buzz feeding. The sads happen - I had it the other day, the full face drop, the feel of tears behind the eyes. Meds are good keeping it under control, but not so good with the careless spending - that's my job.

   Sure it has its benefits, being uplifted courtesy of a Disney movie, loving the fact there's a cinema at shopping centre, small things with profound meaning, the ability to rave at Defqon without the need of drugs, high on the music itself, the sense of humour, and the sight of the best.

   But I forget its seriousness. And it's hit me up again. And I can't keep going with the cycle. And I don't know how serious I'll be about getting off the cycle when I'm habitually cyclical.

   Wow, this has been deep. I'll call it a day there. Not sure when I'll blog next, but I'll see if it can be soon. Meanwhile I'll just get on the best I can and continue my current run - I'm up to chapter 2:6, 9 chapters to go after this, and my writing and the book has become quite lean. I'm the writer I want to be. Lets just see if I can be the editor I need to be.

   Until next time, have a good one!

   T. M.

   Hi guys,

   I'm back... maybe not with a vengeance, or for long, but at least for now. I've been busy.

   Yes, the rewrites are on going, and somewhat painfully so. I got through to the last three chapters of The Ways In, tired and strung out, aching at the final assault on peak finished. And in a burst of inspiration, having slain adverbs, weaker, somewhat passive writing, I finally set Word up to look for passive sentences... and groaned.

   Then I found this wonderful drug called Idle Miner Tycoon, and I sank (lol) a lot of time into it. Great time waster, and my mines are still earning away, I'll give them a look-in at some point. But it served as solace for two of the most difficult things I've ever had to do - finalise my application for the Australian child sex abuse redress scheme, and an interview with a detective about the abuse.

   My lovely GF said I looked brave the week before I went to police. I felt terrible. But that part is done now, and the waiting game has begun. Since then, with my newfound proofing process, I got those last chapters done, and went back to the beginning... and stumbled upon surprise feedback from the GF.

   Yes, it's rude to wake up at 6am to an email about your writing sitting at the top of your smart phone's lock screen notifications. And even worse when its very, very critical of your sex scenes... And true.

   Oh, the pain. And I got it on a Monday, when my weekend is Friday and Saturday, and I've largely lost my work night write mojo. The horror!

   I'll level off on me, because while good, thoughtful, critical feedback can hurt, it can do so much. And I can't thank the GF enough, even though she's spurred me to rewrite vaguer, not so pornographic scenes, two and a half of which I had just worked on in my neo-proofing phase.

   Yeah, I got a bit angry about it. But I'm back into the swing of things, and delving back into twitter. In fact, one person noted I hadn't been in their timeline in a bit asked if I was okay - and that was very nice to come across. We do forget to check on others. Faith in humanity re-asserted.

   Oh, I waffled on. Soz, just needed to. I guess what I'm saying is: get feedback about your writing, as critical as you can get, right up to the threshold of pain; don't forget to check in on others, and don't disdain things like R U Ok day; and as much as it can hurt going over trauma again and again, in therapeutic settings, as part of the investigative process, etc, if you're a survivor of any kind of abuse, it is brave and right to do these things, and people will care and listen to you.

   I'll leave it at that. Not sure when I'm blogging next, it'll happen when it happens. For now, I'm rewriting the raunch, then getting on with the rest of the TWI before I call it quits and throw it at an editor. 15 chapters to go.

   Have a good one!
   T. M.

Who'd've Believed Rewrites Would Be So... Well, Expectedly Painful

   Hey guys, long time no speak!

   Not surprising, I'm up to my elbows in polishing. Admission of a new guilty pleasure, I'm building social media presence over on The Twitter. And because I do it properly, that means compiling a followers list, doing shout outs, retweeting other shout outs, though I'm a little quiet on the posting and commenting side - yeah, I'm shy.

   I'm love/hate with twitter, though I'm doing okay amassing followers - 1750 or so now, a bit slow after I shot up 600 in less than two weeks. But enough of twitter updates and gripes, it's the book I came to speak about.

   Rewrites are taking forever, what with my son visiting for the next couple of weeks, so entertaining him is a priority. Plus there are my other social engagements, and the dreaded but monetarily thanked job I have to do to pay the rent. But boy, when you need time to rewrite a chapter, it's, well, frustrating!

   Yes, I'm still slaying adverbs. Yes, I'm wiping out my passive writing. Progress has been good up until this chapter - you'd think doing a sex scene would be easy. Yeah, about as easy as the opposite of what an amateur or non writer presumes. Ugh, I say... But I'm the one who wants the direct, efficient writing, wants things polished really shiny, wants to finish this at some point in the future.

   It was quick at the beginning of my new quest. I thought I would make good progress. Alas, the author was wrong. BAD AUTHOR! Oh well, its the writer's life for me, yo ho ho and a rewrite or ten thousand! Its just hard, a little confronting and disconcerting. But I got a chapter done, and 11 more to go... but going to be some rewriting of the next one - double ugh!

   But that for tomorrow, I need a break! So I'll catch up soon, and though I promise myself to do a video on YouTube... maybe I'll work on that next.

   And with that, I'll bid you all adieu.


   As always, have a good one!

   T. M.

Adverb Slasher II - The Killening

   Hi guys (if you're reading - last post was very quiet),


   Last time I announced I was taking the fight to adverbs - I also turned my attention to the passive voice - knowing I was making a positive change in my writing. So far, it's bloody. Like Red Wedding bloody. Like basically as bloody as I hear Game of Thrones is. And it is tiring to fight.

   But then, it's my writing, so BAD AUTHOR!

   Also I popped my cyst in my left knee again, tucking my legs under the chair last Saturday. Let this be a hobbly, sac of pus squirting out from behind your knee lesson for you. Another casualty of this horrid war I've declared on myself - and my writing has also vastly improved from TSH.

   I'm not sure really why I'm blogging ATM, or tweeting, though I have 900 followers now, just doesn't seem to be much clout but I'll be offering a beta read for someone once I hit 1000, and hashtagging Three Ways every chance I can get, along with the hashtags for the lovely #WritingCommunity / #writingcommunity. Maybe just not quite my time.

   But I'll slog on, polishing, tweeting, polishing, tweeting, until I've got The Ways In sorted - 12 chapters to go! - then continue with The Ways Out - I'll be writing the end first, just to shore it up. The joys of #amediting and #amwriting.

   I'll call it quits here, polishing awaits, but I hope there's some build soon, and know there's something very special coming in July, but more on that later.

   For now, have a good one!

   T. M.
 

The battle against adverbsity - it was Stephen King's tip what made me do it...

   Hi guys,

   It's been 20 days, and I managed 118 views of my blog (and hopefully clicks on my links, especially that all important free beta copy of 3W over on Dropbox!)

   And a lot has changed. Even my writing. Because my #WritingCommunity follows in the twitterverse, I've come into contact with tips from the writer's writer, Stephen King (no I still haven't read one of his books, but one day I'll watch Pet Sematary), namely his #6 - The road to hell is paved with adverbs.

   Adverbs - verbs that you turn into an adjective, or an adjective you verbify. These are bad, these are weak writing, etc. And I'm guilty as charged. So, I'm on another polishing run - I was lining one up anyway, but this time its with vengeful purpose. I'm murdering adverbs. I'm having fun murdering adverbs. It's on like the Red Wedding. I'm a Lannister cutting through Starks with gay abandon.

   Is this write? Should I be taking so much joy in this polishing run? Mass murdering words? It's hilarious fun! Good thing I'm tempering it with getting stuck into part two - I WROTE A PAGE, YAY ME! Though... it's a bit of a hard slog.

   But here goes the plan. Write a page, spill lots of blood. More pages, more bloodshed. But its write a page from the very last chapter first; and I think I'm going to be writing The Ways Out more or less backwards. I think its for the best, but if you've gotten into my writing, or are getting into it, you have or will be acquainted with the roughness I'll put characters through.

   What can I say? Having gone through the wringer, I associate with going through the wringer, and this one's by far worse than any of the fight scenes in TSH. I had no idea I would one day sit down to write a zero deaths story, but I have, and its quite the expression that pain, conflict does come in many forms, even as simple as challenging the self. But conflict with mad sword fighting skillz and Ragnar/Lagertha-level double team bloodletting will always be a fave, so, at least I get to go Mary Queen of Scots' grisly execution on something...

   Though it's made writing harder, because I'm still adverbing, I'm aware of it, and I'm cutting it to pieces as I go. Not sure how this will affect progress on The Ways Out, but valiantly, violently, outwardly adverbally as I just did, I'm fighting on to the betterment of my technique. I think some more of my italics are going next, gotta reserve those for the definite impact of combat.

   And yeah, there's a lot of change already going for 3W, even the beta copy, so any copies you get now do have adverbs and some tautology until I can post the new copy, so I extend my most heartfelt soz for that. But that's what beta copies and constructive criticism are for, testing the waters and improving the mad writing skillz. And that's where I'll leave it for now.

   From the land of McMurderousness (maybe I should do a serial killer story), I bid you farewell, and kill the adverbs. All of them. LEAVE NONE ALIVE!

   The joys of being an author.

   Have a good one!
   T. M.

   Hi guys,

   Guess what I went and did?

   Yep, I pressed the publish button.

   THREE WAYS - THE WAYS IN IS NOW AVAILABLE ON AMAZON!

   My baby - what I'm calling a published work in progress (I'll be doing more proofing in a month as I start on The Ways Out, I just need a break from it having gone through 4 times and to rest the writing fingers) - is out and about on the internet, where you can buy a kindle copy or the paperback...

   But because I'm that kind of guy, and believe free books are good books (even the ones that still aren't quite up to scratch) I've gone and dropboxed the beta copy, which you can grab right here! 😁

  So, what is Three Ways?

  Get your minds off Pornhub, its about the three ways to see relationships and the self - Physical, Mental/Emotional, and Spiritual.

   It's got everything a romance needs - two people falling for each other, an ex turning up when least expected, dating, kissing, sex - Oh, God, the sex! - but all with a male main character, a male viewpoint, and the main character based on myself,. As I'm saying, it's the autobiographical first novel I should have written, and it comes courtesy of an idea from my sister (thanks sis!)

   This is going to be a shorter post, I have a lot to get on with advertising on Facebook and Twitter, but I will say my mood has moved from meh to gladness, it's been a four year journey just to get here - and a year of getting blocked on the last chapter, with a number of things to fall in place before I could finish - and I'm proud to announce the book, plus three introductory videos on YouTube!

   Not that I'm finished - yes, still some polishing to go, which I'll get onto when I get going on The Ways Out - but such is life without being able to afford an editor (sigh). But it won't be without updates, maybe some more readings, and that all important free copy!

   I'll call it quits there. Follow the links below for readings, and to join me on Facebook and Twitter, and you can always catch me here on the blog.

   As always, and I hope to say this more often this time around,

   Have a good one!
   T. M.

Introduction to Three Ways | Reading Three Ways – Chapter 1:1 | Reading Three Ways – Chapter 1:2

Like me on Facebook | Catch me on Twitter | Three Ways – The Ways In – available at Amazon.com

   Hi guys,

   Yes, I've been quiet. Yes, it's my thing. I'm isolationary.

   On the plus side, I've been quietly busy with whitesmoking, re-reading, editing Three Ways, and in very good news, I've finished the proofing stage and am ready to publish - but all things being fair, being unable to afford an editor this time, I will be doing further proofing runs as I go and updating the book as necessary!

   Oh, what fun, and excitement, and wow, and... well, meh.

   When I published TSH, I was full of excitement and beans, couldn't wait to share my work with the world (as messy as it was with the first edition). This time around, yes, I'm finding myself very ambivalent, and almost hesitant to put it out - not surprising, I was blocked for so long on this book, plus been at it for nearly 4 years (I surprised myself), and on my last read through I was getting very slow towards the end.

   Empty nesting? Maybe. Scared to kick my baby out the door into the dangerous world of reviews? Probably. Worried that, given Three Ways is actually the autobiographical first story I should have written, and putting that out there means I'm vulnerable, and open to criticism? Yeah, most likely...

   Guess I should just crack the knee back into position, pop the shoulder back in, and rip the band aid off at the same time, right? Give me a couple of days for setup, and I'll be fine 😀.

   Anyway, I'm going back to getting Three Ways up for buying, and the next post will be the glorious release (and a big "phew" from me). As always,

   Have a good one!
   T.M.

I must love hitting reset... either that, or bipolar is not all its cracked up to be

   Hi guys,

   Been a while, I know. My life's like that. I'm half disorganised, half lazy, and half crazy. These are of course the joys when you have bipolar with a side of anxiety on a bed of PTSD, the other joys being absolutely brilliant ideas (like one I had recently) I don't follow up with (because that's not my specialty) that I ultimately never realise is a pipe dream.

   Good news, I've pulled it back... well, for now. Bad news for Your CWAGmire (which is still a brilliant idea, don't get me wrong). Good news for my writing, I can focus. Bad news for my writing because I'm stuck again, forgetting I hadn't finished a chapter and I'm a little blocked and sorting things out.

   So, how's all of your lives? LOL, I hope you're all doing as well as you can.

   But in brighter news, or unfortunate news, since you can't just up and change the name of your Facebook pages (guys, come on, what the frack?), I'm starting the page I should have started, just like I'm writing the first book I should have written, so you'll soon see links to my newly started, work in progress page simply entitled "T. M. Shannon" (or follow this wonderful LINK)

   I'll be setting up this over the coming weeks, so mind the construction if you do check it out, there will be links set up for The Torment, The Shadow, The Heart, as well as Three Ways - The Ways In once I get that up and published. Hopefully I can kick my arse into finishing that sooner than soon, depends on the rest of my things as I'm getting a bit bogged down - hooray for mental illness, woo.

   Yes, that's deadpan. Life is a struggle for me. But I've gotta keep going, I've been doing it for a long time, and I'll be doing it for a long time yet.

   So, here's to brighter things, a farewell to one idea that's not my talent, and renewed focus on the writing that is my talent. Not sure how long it's going to take, however I'm just going to start again... again.

   Don't mind the doldrums. Have a good one!


   T. M.