Hi guys,
Didn't think I was going to blog today, or any time soon, but I'm having a dose of the imposed sads and angries. As for progress, 3W re-rewrites proceed slowly, only got another page done today, better than nothing, but its going to be a long slog to pare the writing back. But that's not the issue.
I'm just back from church in 40 degree C heat. That I couldn't really cool down at church and had a hot car to contend with isn't helping the mood. And it began in sadness.
Whether you think them helpful or not, I prayed for firies (that's firefighters for non-Aussies) tending our bushfire crisis - that the PM has finally gotten around to showing some leadership over, putting off a buy our coal trip to India. And I prayed for those who've lost lives, homes, livelihoods.
That made me sad. Not just in the suffering, but in what could be done to minimise that suffering if the PM hadn't ignored expert advice last year predicting this season of crisis, fought by volunteer firies that, in NSW, had their funding cut by 75%. The common denominator? The "better economic managers" who know the cost of everything and the value of nothing... except those of high value.
Why are we doomed to this nonsense? Why do enough of us back it up, buy into it, fall for BS, or just not give a toss? Either way, I'm still just about in tears, I think a good cry is in order tonight.
Bit late for the anger, but oh well. And what am I angry about? Well, obstinacy. I have a conjured image from Shopsmas, customers who didn't want to follow my instructions to take another exit - never mind it was the manager's call. I stood my ground, though it was eventually the boss telling me to let them pass.
Sometimes I don't get customer service, when customers are, well, flawed people like me.
But it reminded me of my dark point - no matter how much I've sought, asked, begged, told, demanded, screamed for, or could force to the point of pain, there is one thing I'll never get that isn't given by those who make the market, even God, the king that does what they want. Care. And it could very well get darker if religious discrimination gets up.
Yes, I'm waiting for the "I'm just sharing my faith," mob to arc up with Leviticus and Romans (and any other number of passages that are sometimes not even veiled hatred) - the Books are written by numpties just like us, really - but ignore "love your neighbour," "love each other," "judge not," "those without sin cast the stone," "render unto Caesar," and all that nicety.
Fair justice. Mercy. Kindness. Going to understand people. Care. And it's killed by those who want the world to meet their needs.
Yeah, this has gone religious. And it's personal - and it comes with the lament that there's one part of the world I'd like to meet my needs, because it has failed, and I just can't get through to it. Its heavy, and maybe I'm letting it bear me down, and maybe its not the price of caring. But goodness do I want to cry about it all, then go out and stop it.
I don't know what I expected of this. I don't know if someone's going to have a whinge about my view - for being a bleeding heart lefty, religious nutter, what have you. And I don't know if its helped me.
But here I am. Dissect, dissolve, and do away with me. Or listen to me and think. Either way, and though it feels empty to say this right now, have a good one.
T. M.
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